Summer Ride Read online

  “Dyslexic, yeah, I remember.” Jimmy’s soft tone made Toby feel better.

  The impairment had given him anxiety back in school, and he’d felt dumb. But then Jimmy had told him that he was actually super smart. Dyslexics had so much trouble with two-dimensional things because they thought three-dimensionally. They viewed the world as images, and words that couldn’t evoke a mental image made no sense to them. Their senses gave them so much information at once that it could be disorienting, especially when reading or writing text.

  “Right.” Toby sighed. “Anyway, because of that I tend to use my phone or tablet to record my classes so that I can listen to them later in detail. A lot of students do that.”

  Jimmy shrugged. “Same shit at Harvard Law. Many record live videos too.”

  Toby swallowed hard and licked his lips, which were drier than a desert. Even after knowing he was in the company of someone who’d been his best friend, the matter was tough to confront.

  “Early this spring, I wrote an essay for a class. We had a new professor, Dr. Fisher, and he was amazing. I admired him and learned a lot. Then he called me into his office after class. I looked forward to discussing some ideas I had about nanotechnology and sustainability.”

  Toby fell silent. His hands around the steering wheel shook. A cold sweat broke out on his forehead. He hated feeling this way. Was he weak?

  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel up to it,” Jimmy murmured beside him, a kind look on his handsome face.

  “No, I… I want to. I think I need to. Haven’t really talked about this with anyone.” Toby took a fortifying breath. “We were discussing things from the class and then moved on to my essay. He said it was good—too good. He accused me of cheating.”

  “What?” Jimmy sat up, his voice rising in anger. “You’d never do anything like that. You never have. Not once. You didn’t even use your dyslexia to get out of tests or explain low scores. I totally would have.”

  Toby chuckled a little. “That wasn’t the worst of it. After I said I wasn’t a cheater and challenged him to check my essay with any plagiarism or cheating software, he….” He gulped and worried he’d not be able to get the words out, then pushed them out with sheer force of will. “He put a hand on my knee, moved it upward, and told me that’d be no problem in his class if… if I did him favors in return.”

  When Jimmy gasped in shock, Toby felt nothing but relief. He’d finally told someone who mattered to him personally.

  Chapter 7

  FOR THE first time since the whole mess with that infernal law firm, Jimmy was frustrated and angry on someone else’s behalf. And it was as justified as it was a positive change.

  “What the everloving fuck? What did you do?” As he asked, Jimmy prayed Toby hadn’t taken the same road he had and gone along with it.

  Toby quirked an icy smile. “I pushed his hand away. I told him I wasn’t a cheater, nor was I going to sleep my way through college. He said there were facts, and then there were facts. People would believe him over me. That it wouldn’t matter in the end if I cheated or not.”

  “What a miserable piece of shit.” Jimmy clenched his hands. He’d have busted that guy’s teeth in had he been in the car with them.

  Toby glanced at him, a lopsided smile still on his lips. “I’d forgotten my phone was on record.”

  Jimmy’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. Stunned, he dared to feel hopeful about where this was going. “Holy shit.”

  “I didn’t remember it until after I left his office, door banging, and got back to my room. It was all there, muffled but audible. Proof he’d tried to extort sexual favors from me in exchange for higher grades and threatened me with accusations of cheating if I didn’t go along with his plans.”

  “What’d you do?”

  “I filed a complaint with the assistant dean in charge of academics.”

  “Good.” Jimmy was proud of Toby for doing the right thing. He wished he’d done the same. Too late now.

  Toby grunted, a displeased sound if Jimmy had ever heard one. “The next day, Fisher gave me a D for my essay. I complained and took my case upstairs, so to speak.” He bared his teeth like a dangerous animal. “The faculty at the college are pretty upstanding. This one dude, though—Mr. Cage, the assistant dean I mentioned—he dismissed me, said I’d misunderstood.”

  “Great, the good old boy network is alive and well in Boston,” Jimmy snarled. His father would approve. Too bad his son wouldn’t.

  “Well, I played him a copy of the recording. That shut him up.” Toby’s smile turned into a cruel sneer. “I left him stewing about how to get out of it. I lodged a new complaint about both of them to the dean of students. Then I went to the press.”

  Jimmy’s jaw dropped. “You did what? Oh my God. Really? No, you didn’t.”

  “I sure did.” Toby’s sneer vanished. Only weariness was left.

  “That must’ve gone over well,” Jimmy commented dryly. His cynicism wouldn’t allow him to believe in any good outcome. This was a new characteristic for him.

  “Shit hit the fan,” Toby admitted, his tone now ashamed more than tenacious. He clearly had a regret or two about how he’d handled things. Jimmy felt bad for him. “The college got into a shitstorm. Cage didn’t get fired, but the dean reassigned him to a lower-level admin position, in essence demoting him. His face was plastered all over the news. His career advancement ground to a halt. Fisher, on the other hand, was charged with sexual harassment. His reputation tanked, so he lost his job. Haven’t seen hide nor hair of him since.”

  “What about you?”

  “They reinstated a higher grade, which I deserved, for my essay. They also asked me not to do any interviews or speak to the press that camped out on the campus for like a month.”

  Jimmy frowned in disbelief. “Can they do that? That’s an attack on free speech.”

  Toby blushed. “The dean asked nicely. Since it was Fisher and Cage I had a problem with, not the rest of the leadership, I agreed. The news blew over eventually but… I feel stained. My teachers are giving me a wide berth these days. No one talks to me, not the other students, not the teachers. I’m alone.”

  He was lonely, Jimmy finished the thought in his head. He didn’t want Toby to suffer. The guy had stood up for his rights and defended himself against the powers-that-be who’d tried to silence him and sweep a sexual harassment case under a rug.

  “That’s why you mentioned maybe transferring to a different school,” Jimmy recalled.

  Toby chewed on his lower lip, appearing both frustrated and depressed. “Yeah. Maybe in a new place I won’t be a pariah anymore.”

  “That sounds like running away,” Jimmy mused.

  Toby gave him the stink eye. “You’re one to talk.”

  Jimmy’s cheeks heated as shame flooded him. “Sorry.”

  Toby sighed. “But you’re right, I know. It just sucks being pushed to the fringes. I didn’t do anything wrong. And the worst thing is, you know, that the bad guys have been punished—but I continue to be punished too, with silence and isolation.”

  Jimmy hesitated. “What do you want to do?”

  Toby shrugged. “No idea. Guess that’s why I’m out here, on the road, going nowhere fast. Maybe I’m trying to find answers on the highways and byways of this great nation.”

  “Asphalt doesn’t do a lot of talking,” Jimmy remarked dryly.

  Toby laughed, his shoulders shimmying. It sure sounded like real amusement. “True. I didn’t want to sit around my dorm room all summer, though, feeling even more….”

  As Toby’s voice faded into nothing, Jimmy started to think—and then worry. Considering the shambled state of his own life at the moment, he could understand wanting to distance oneself, to run away from one’s problems and pretend everything was fine. But Toby seemed to be in poor shape, like he didn’t care about anything anymore, as if he had given up.

  “Toby?” Jimmy swallowed hard. Pushing the words out proved difficult. Toby gav
e him an expectant look. “Where were you originally headed before we met?”

  Toby stared back out at the road ahead. He went still, his muscles tensed, his jaw worked, and his mouth turned into a thin line. Jimmy realized he’d been right to be fearful. But he said nothing and waited for Toby to deny or confirm Jimmy’s suspicions.

  “Just away. What the fuck does it matter?” Toby’s voice was gruff and raspy. He blinked as if fighting a barrage of tears.

  “It matters to me,” Jimmy tried. His chest constricted at the thought of Toby lying dead in a gutter somewhere. And it would be worse if he knew the guy had done it to himself.

  Toby grimaced, his knuckles white as he squeezed the steering wheel. “Why? We aren’t friends anymore.”

  Jimmy growled. “We may have gone our separate ways, but I never stopped seeing you as my friend. Not fucking once.” Anger boiled inside him. “Good to know I was so disposable to you.”

  Toby slumped, rigidity leaving him with an exhaled whoosh. “You weren’t. You aren’t. I… I just don’t need this right now.”

  “What?”

  “Your accusations.”

  “I’m not accusing you of anything.”

  “You blame me for leaving you behind.”

  Jimmy couldn’t deny that. “I’m not your dad, so… yeah, maybe I do kind of blame you for that. I was your best friend, wasn’t I?”

  “Yes.” At least Toby didn’t hesitate when he said that, Jimmy noted with relief. “I’ve got enough pressure in my life right now. I don’t need you to add to that.” Toby spoke through gritted teeth, stiffness reappearing in his posture.

  Jimmy watched Toby’s strained profile and fumed. “You told me what happened to you of your own free will. As for what’s going on now, it’s just me wondering where you were going, is all. Didn’t think that was such a damn tough question. Unless of course you had… darker plans.”

  Toby snarled. “It’s none of your business.”

  “Fuck.” Jimmy cursed several times, refusing to take his eye off Toby. “So you were going to take one last trip around our grand country, and then what?”

  Toby slammed his palms at the steering wheel. “It’s got nothing to do with you.” Then he swerved into another lane, one exiting the highway. A copse of birches grew by the lazy curve and the yellow sign of a McDonald’s heralded the presence of the fast-food joint nearby. Whatever town lay ahead, it was still hidden by trees.

  “What are you doing?” Jimmy asked in a shrill voice, upset and afraid now.

  “I’ve got enough on my plate,” Toby shouted back, his cheeks and neck reddening in rage. “I’m ending this trip of ours. You can go wherever the hell you please, but I’m getting off.”

  “So you’re running away from your school, your place, the city, and now me too?” Jimmy barked vehemently. “You fucking coward.” It was a low blow and an error in judgment. He knew he’d made a mistake the second the words tumbled out of his mouth.

  Toby gasped. He didn’t wait for them to find a bus stop or a parking lot. He steered sharply to the side of the road, pulled the handbrake, left the engine on, and jumped out.

  Jimmy followed suit, slammed the door shut behind him, and rounded the back of the car to Toby’s side. “You’re being ridiculous. You have no idea where we are. Come on. Get back in the car. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it.”

  He tried to grab Toby by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. Toby shoved him on the chest with both hands, forcing Jimmy to stagger back to avoid falling on his ass. Smells of dust and dirt intensified, stalks of grass rustling under his stumbling feet.

  “Toby, please,” Jimmy begged more softly now, regaining his balance. Toby yanked open the back door and pulled out his backpack. Jimmy closed the gap between them but didn’t try again to touch him. “I’m sorry, Toby. Please don’t go.”

  Toby hustled along the side of the road, away from the car, clearly seething.

  Jimmy didn’t rush after him. He couldn’t leave the car’s engine running, nor could he park. “You scared me, Toby,” he called out after him. “We may not be friends anymore, but I don’t want you to die. I saw it in my head, you dead in some nameless street somewhere, and it fucking scared me, okay? That’s why I pressed the issue and got so angry. I’m—”

  Jimmy halted midsentence when Toby whirled around and stormed back toward him. He didn’t stop until he stood in front of Jimmy, glowering.

  “I wasn’t going to kill myself, you idiot. I was going to fuck my way across country, one gay bar after another, till I could no longer feel that asshole’s hands on me, okay? I’m not suicidal. I’m furious.”

  For a while they stared at each other, Toby scowling the entire time.

  Jimmy blinked, his mouth hanging wide open, his brain frozen in shock. Then he blurted out, “You’re gay too?”

  Chapter 8

  HOW THEY got back to the car and on the road again was mostly a mystery to Toby. There’d been a roadside diner close by, but admittedly neither that nor McDonald’s was the ideal venue for a coming-out talk. Of all the things he’d expected Jimmy to say, his being afraid of Toby committing suicide and his being gay like Toby hadn’t been among them.

  Toby drove in silence. He felt Jimmy’s inscrutable eyes on him the entire time. Neither had uttered a syllable in the over ten minutes since they’d eased back into traffic. Toby wasn’t sure what to say.

  “Listen, man,” he murmured, remorseful after his earlier outburst. “I’m sorry for running off like an upset kid. You just hit too close to home. Not the suicide part, but the being in the dark part. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been so alone lately that I… I keep replaying it in my mind. I feel his hand on my knee, on my thigh, on my—” He gulped hard, a cold weight in the pit of his stomach. “I can’t shake it.”

  “That’s only natural, I think,” Jimmy offered, his tone gentle and slow, as if he wasn’t sure of his reception. “That shithead invaded your privacy and violated your physical autonomy.”

  Toby started to chuckle. “That’s such a formal choice of words.”

  “Well, I am supposed to be a lawyer and all,” Jimmy retorted demurely, then smirked.

  On that topic, Toby still had a million questions for his old best friend. But this wasn’t the best time or place. Instead, he focused on the newest revelation.

  “Did you know you were gay back in high school?”

  Jimmy frowned and clearly hesitated. “Yeah, I guess I sort of did. I mean, I thought guys were hot. Then again, girls were hot too. Maybe I was just super horny.” Toby had to laugh at the comment, and Jimmy seemed to relax, grinning. “These days I don’t do girls anymore. Strictly guys for me. Guess it was a slow process for me, with stages. First straight, then bi, finally predominantly gay. It worked for me, if not for everyone.” He glanced at Toby. “Did you know back then?”

  Toby shrugged. “I don’t know. I must have. I didn’t sleep with guys until college, but I was attracted to them earlier.”

  “I seem to recall you didn’t sleep with lots of chicks either,” Jimmy commented, a pensive look on his handsome face.

  Toby grinned. “You were super horny, I was zero horny.”

  Jimmy laughed. “You’re a funny, funny man.” Then he grew serious. “Not every kid has a really active libido, even as a teenager. Sometimes people just aren’t into it. You know, sex.”

  Toby pursed his lips. “I’m not asexual, dude. I like sex just fine.”

  “I do get the difference.” Jimmy blushed and ducked his head. Toby was surprised by the reaction. He’d never have figured Jim Maverick would be uncomfortable or embarrassed talking about sex. Then he understood why when Jimmy drawled, “So… back in high school, did you think I was hot?”

  Toby couldn’t help but smile. “Seriously? Are you seriously asking me that?”

  Jimmy’s cheeks grew ruddier. “Wasn’t I sexy enough?”

  “You were my best friend, man. And one doesn’t fuck with friends, not in any sense
.”

  Jimmy chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, contemplative, and then in a singsong voice said, “That’s not a no.”

  Toby laughed. “Oh my God. You’re just going to keep hounding me about this, aren’t you? Dude, grow up.” When Jimmy pouted and gave him the sad puppy-dog eyes, Toby giggled. “Jesus, you’re incorrigible. Fine, yes, I thought you were pretty damn hot even back then.”

  Jimmy feigned humility poorly. “Of course you did. I was fucking smoking.”

  Toby decided to tease his companion. “What about me? Did you think I was sexy?”

  Jimmy snorted and rolled his eyes. “Dude, you still are. That hasn’t changed one damn bit. Still as gorgeous and smart and funny as ever.” Jimmy winked at him. “I’m even loving the beard. And scruff’s not my thing.”

  This time it was Toby who flushed with heat, his cheeks undoubtedly going cherry red.

  “So, you been to many gay bars on your trip?” Jimmy asked.

  Toby snorted. “Dude, I left Boston that morning on the first available bus, so no. Not a lot of time to get busy in the middle of nowhere. As it turned out, I didn’t get farther than the town where we met. Last stop, that was.”

  “Was that your plan? Just hop from one bus to the next?” His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You weren’t going to hitchhike, were you? Man, that’s dangerous. Being on a budget is one thing, but having a death wish is something else.”

  “You’re exaggerating,” Toby replied—even though Jimmy wasn’t wrong.

  “Whatever. So, does your family know?” Jimmy asked, changing the subject.

  Toby’s smile faltered. “Dad was already on my case for not joining the Marines, so telling him I liked dudes was an absolute no-no.” He grimaced as he remembered vividly the oppressive mood ever-present in his childhood household, thanks to his father. He’d hated it there. Then he perked up. “Molly knows, though.”